Budget? What budget...

Don’t we all feel great now today after the spending review by national accountant Reeves? Personally we should all be impressed that bank tellers know so much about national accounts. Completely ignoring debt levels and obfuscating how money is spent. Bellowing from the dispatch box how good it all will be. Defence spending? No problem, we will include spies, hide payments to foreign aid as defence costs, include embassy costs, include the military housing renewals and upkeep. Wonderful, we spend 3% on defence. Listening, Mr POTUS? And oh, by the way, we will build 12 nuclear submarines. Yes, Keir phoned me at 3am in the morning, he couldn’t sleep, said he had a nightmare about dolphins we had to do something about them. Stop worrying Mr President we are doing our bit, we are an island and safe. Russians don’t like water. What you mean, drones, what are those? 

Dear oh dear, how deep we have sunk. The nation that kick started the world we live in today. Railways, penicillin, and thousands of other innovations. Today it is not even a shadow of itself. Too many living well off the state, too many who want a piece of the last crumbs of the cake and bought a one-way passage on a dinghy. And on and on we go, but unfortunately Reeves has just rung the bell. The last round is on. As was said before the general election Labour is the nation’s economics wonderboy. Why wasn’t Reeves up for a BAFTA? Such a brilliant performance talking defeat into a brilliant victory to be remembered for years to come, it takes some doing. The old O-levels still stand for something, don’t they? Anyway, growth is easy to get, just increase the labour supply. Oh, we are already doing that, keep the dinghies coming!

All fun and games, but yeah, the truth is that nothing has really changed. We are still in the mire, we still have a massive debt and growing. And we still have a ruling class that haven’t a clue about what a democracy is or even what it should be. Well, so far so good as they say. I have to admit it is incredible how we have allowed a proper elected government to be ruled by a system that we have fondly named as ‘The Blob’. In other words, the Civil Service. Reeves or Baby Keir might have a nice idea, something like let all pensioners be free of having to pay tax, no VAT, no income tax. Great but now it has to be passed through layers and layers of departments. Departments like the Office of Budget Responsibility, the Debt Management Office, HMRC etc amongst others. Perhaps not departments but nevertheless very much involved. Taking years to discuss, look, change, and discuss again. Meaning there will be no change, things will be as they always were. Hence, the Victorian era is still with us. Just look at the state of the roads, railways, education. Nuff said!

In the meantime, the POTUS will disband NATO because no nation other than the US pays its dues, it will mean a saving of billions to us here. Some of it will have to be used to pay for extra educational departments. A Department of the Russian language among others. Russian will be taught as from 2027 in all elementary schools. There will be no more elections, a czar will rule serving the Russian overlord stationed in Brussels. Wonderful, can’t wait. In the meantime we can start clearing all the ruins caused by the European war of the late 2026 and 2027’s. Haven’t we done well! Congrats all around.